It would be an understatement to say this year has been fair. It’s been equally amazing and just as awful. On Wednesday it pushed me to my absolute limits. One of my cats, Dandelion, was suddenly taken from me in one of the most cruelest ways. He was just over two years old, I had him since he was a tiny bundle of fur and he became one of my closest and dearest friends. We all know I don’t get on well with other humans, that’s just a fact, so Dandi was there through probably the toughest period of my mental health battle but also through my recovery over the last 6 months.
He was one of the most beutiful creatures and he was mine, I looked after him and he looked after me. Some people don’t value pets or animals, I’ll never fully understand why but my expirience has proved how much an animal can impact a human life in so many ways. I’ll never be able to fully explain the extent of our friendship or how he helped with my darkest days and inspired me to keep fighting to better myself or the world around me but he did.
The call I took on Wednesday telling me what had happened crushed my soul and continues to haunt me. I haven’t cried or felt pain like I have over the last few days in a very long time and maybe ever. I don’t know what happened, why it happened and that is something that I will question endlessly without finding an awnser but what I do know is this is proof that everything doesn’t happen for a reason because regardless of who is taken as such a young age it should not happen and the impact that loss has is increadible and unstoppable.
I have just taken the biggest leap of recent years and started back at university, now I have to find my way and cope with this incredible loss not only to me but my other cat as well as the rest of my family and that is going to be a huge task. Thank you to everyone who has taken time to message me, tweet me and support me, everyone knew Dandi because he was apart of me and it is touching to know how many people care not only about me but about him too.
I’m not religious and I base my writing and work on science and knowledge, in some ways this makes this kind of event more challenging but in other ways easier. I still don’t know exactly how to deal with loss or greif but I’m doing my best. I have requested Dandelion has an individual cremation simply so I can have his ashes and bring him home to where he belongs because that is what feels right to me. I just hope that, like in life, he rests peacefully and perfectly.
Rest Peacefully, Dandelion.